My Family

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Look what arrived today!

They received our application and sent this out via email. We are to expect a packet in the mail laying out the next steps. I cannot believe it is really happening.

Building Blocks Adoption Service, Inc.
A licensed Ohio non-profit agency
P.O. Box 1028 • Medina, Ohio 44258 • Phone: 330.725.5521 • Fax: 880.668.2478 •

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Barlup

Welcome to our Family! We have received your application and thank you for choosing BBAS to help you on this journey of a lifetime. We understand you may be feeling a mixture of excitement and a little overwhelmed. That’s normal. BBAS has helped thousands of individuals with their adoption process and we have developed a procedure that will start you on the right path.

****Tonight I went shopping for a friend's baby shower. To think that in a few months I could be shopping for my baby!****

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I am writing a book...

And I am going to title it "Family and Friends Field Guide to Infertility." I think its catchy.

I had intended this blog to be filled with all things positive... And I think it will be for the most part, but tonight caused me to redirect, momentarily anyway.

I know my friends and family love me. I know they care. I know I could call at a moments notice and they would bail me out, or call AAA, or bring me a cup of coffee. But sometimes I am thrown by people's comments!

Top 10 things you should never say to someone who is dealing with infertility (and these will of course be the chapters of the book)...
Variations on a theme with these first two...

#10 It will happen when the time is right.

#9 It will happen when you least expect it.

#8 Just stop trying. That's what worked for us!

#7 If it is meant to be, it will happen!

#6 Just relax.

#5 You're so tense. Just let it happen! (what does this one even mean exactly?)

#4 My friend (Mom, cousin, aunt, next door neighbor, 2nd grade teacher...) knew a woman who was told she couldn't have children and then she ended up having 5! (And why, oh why, does it always have to be 5!)

#3 (This one doesn't come into play until you are trying to actually deal with your infertility...) You don't have to think about that yet! or another variation... You're not there yet!

#2 (Another comment for when you are dealing with the situation) You're so negative!

And my all time favorite, which is of course said in a condescending manner or maybe even to "win" an argument
#1 Maybe when you're a mother you will understand.

So, if you haven't noticed, occasionally I still get a little angry. Part of the healing process, I say! And I am already feeling better.

Look for the book at a Barnes and Noble near you soon :)

Monday, October 23, 2006

Application Submittal Date has arrived!

The nicest woman at the bank called to let me know we would be receiving two welcome packets. Some glitch in the system. Well, the first arrived. Still haven't seen the second yet, but I suspect it should be here tomorrow.

Since we have checks we've decided to put the application in the mail tonight! Let the process begin...

We spent the weekend in Kenton for Brian's class reunion. It was a nice weekend and very nice to see Brian's family, but I think we were both glad to be back to our routine.

It was snowing today if you can believe that! Decided to include this picture of us on our last vacation to remind us of warmer days (though, I gotta admit it was a little chilly on the beach that day!).

Traci, Mat (friends from work) and I all braved the weather for lunch today. We were having a lovely old time in KFC when I overheard a conversation. I am assuming the three women I was blatantly eavesdropping on were social workers, but you had better believe the moment I heard "homestudy" I was tuned in. I couldn't really understand what they were speaking about so I didn't gather any pearls of wisdom, but it was funny none the less. Leave it to me to try and gather information through eavesdropping at a KFC!!!

Everyone we spoke with over the weekend - family and friends - are so supportive of the idea of us adopting. It is fun to talk about and day dream about the day we have out family. I appreciate everyone's excitement so much! And like I said earlier - - it feels like it has taken us so long to get to this point that I have no fear left. There's nothing here but excitement and it is great to have so many people to share it with!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Application Time!
Uncle Chris and Aunt Kristin

Brian and I spent Sunday and last night filling in the agency application. All the blanks are filled in and now we just wait for the loan checks to arrive! I cannot believe after all this wait we are so close to starting the process for real...

Tonight I talked with my friend Amanda who recently moved to Denver and is hoping to fulfill her life long dream of being a Starbucks Barista here shortly. It was great to talk with her and tell her of the exciting news... We spent some time discussing terms of endearment for the little bundle. Many options! Hopefully Amanda will be posting a comment since I told her the blog is lonely and unvisited! Miss you Amanda!

My brother Chris was down this weekend to visit. It had been a long time since he made the trek to Columbus, but since buying a house near Cleveland he was able to shorten the drive time (plus, I think he is feeling the pressure of becoming an Uncle... He wants to ensure the child will actually know his name. I think he wanted to practice the drive for when the baby is actually here.). Whatever the reason for the drive it was nice to spend the day with him.

Will update more as things move along. I know it is going to be a long process. Plenty of time for posts!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Thought I would post a couple of picks... Emma and Wage! Two of the zoo.

Today marks the beginning... The beginning of this blog and the beginning of our journey. I have decided to keep this blog as a record for all those who are interested. I was told by friends that I might start to become irritated by the constant questions... Those who know me well will probably be surprised since generally speaking my life is an open book and I love talking about it!... But I figured just in case it is true I will start this as a reference.

Two and a smidge years ago my husband, Brian, and I began to prepare for our family. Like most people we attempted for biological children. We tried for 13 months before turning to my Ob/Gyn for help. She conducted some prelim tests and sent us on to a specialist. The specialist was able to diagnose me with blocked Fallopian tubes (well, one is completely blocked... The other, mostly blocked). At the point of diagnosis we took a break to think about our choices. I knew there were treatment options. But, while liking my specialist, I wasn't interested. The process had been sterile and scary and even a little painful. When thinking about the creation of my family, it isn't what I had in mind. I wanted joy and peace!

We had briefly spoken about adoption before we were married, but it seemed complicated and we were ready for children. We, like most, decided to try for biological children first. Adoption maybe later. Now that we were back to square one, I was ready for complicated over scary. We have spent the last year - year, I know! - researching, preparing our house for the homestudy, preparing ourselves mentally and financially for the adoption process. And here we are! Ready to go!

We recently finished an adoption information class through Capital University and Columbus Children's Hospital and received an adoption loan through Bank of America (if you are thinking about adoption and worried about finances check them out! Very easy process and good rates. Apply over the phone instead of online. The interest rate tends to be better. Ask about the Gold Loan program... That isn't the exact name but they should know what you are talking about). We have picked an agency out of Medina, Ohio and decided to adopt internationally through Guatemala.

I know we have a long way to go - - but now that the big decisions are made it all seems so easy! Bring on the paperwork! I can handle it...

Today we went and turned in our applications for passports. Something we should have done a long time ago, but at least it is done now! I was dismayed when I learned they keep your birth certificate through the entire process! I probably should have known that but I didn't! And, of course, since we should have plenty of time for our passports to arrive we didn't want to pay the additional fees to speed up the process. I know they are going to need our birth certificates for other steps. Here's to hoping our passports come through quickly - - with our birth certificates returned safely. So much for all my research!

Next steps: We are able to access the funds from our loan, but have decided to wait until we get our "welcome packet." This should be mailed to us in 7 to 10 days. At that point we will turn in our application and initial fees to the agency to begin the homestudy. The homestudy should take 1 to 3 months to be completed. I am hoping to get all the necessary paperwork completed before we begin... Hoping.