disappointed...

I was so sure that I could handle this process... And I am sure that I can. I am just having a string of bad days. It will get easier, but it isn't easy right now.

I spoke with the agency and asked what the time line was from this point forward. I thought once we were past the home study phase that we were in the 6 - 8 month window I keep hearing about, but it seems there are about a million steps between now and the 6 - 8 month window. We have to have all of our paperwork filed, an accepted referral and our power of attorney to Guatemala before the 6 - 8 month window begins. This is probably putting us closer to Christmas than the end of summer. Brian's mom is going to faint when she hears how much longer we are going to have to wait. I could be surprised and maybe these steps will go faster than I think, but since everything is taking longer than I thought it would I am beginning to lose that notion.

I received my Pottery Barn Kids catalogue tonight and I was going through it and I just finally put it down. Once again it feels like too soon to even be thinking about such things. I don't know when the time comes when you can allow yourself to start living like you are having a child, but right now it just feels like a fairy tale.

Again, I am just having a string of bad days. I know they won't last forever, and I am sure it will get easier. Right now, it just feels like we will be 50 by the time this is all said and done...