Oh the baby's room...

This last week or so has been really stressful for me. I don't know exactly why. Cannot quite put my finger on what is truly bothering me. I think some of it is that we got the pictures of him smiling, and while I am glad that he is happy and healthy, I cannot believe I missed the first smile. Whenever I think that way it makes me very sad. And it makes it feel like this process is just taking forever! Everyone said the wait would be the hardest part, and I thought (maybe, hoped) that with all the things we had to get done I would be able to keep myself occupied. But getting ready hasn't even been easy. I keep feeling like I am playing pretend...

My poor Mom felt the brunt of it this week. Considering I have only had a couple of major freak outs - and most have been private moments - I think I am doing pretty well. But when I spoke with my Mom, I let it all out. I didn't even realize how much I needed to cry until I started.

Kate came down over ComFest weekend and I was so glad to see her. On Sunday we decided to go shopping and buy a crib. Brian and I had been given one, but it needed some work and we just decided we didn't have the time to mess with it. Anyway, Kate and I went to a million stores and finally picked a crib and mattress. It was the first really big purchase (of many, I am sure) and I was feeling pretty happy. Then Kate started in. I never said, "I am scared." Or "I am dragging my feet because I am afraid it isn't going to really happen." But somehow she knew. And in the most loving way possible she read me the riot act. She told me to quit being afraid, and get to work. I don't think I even realized how scared I was until she and I spoke.

I took it to heart, and my friend Traci came over both Saturday and Sunday and helped me to get the walls painted.

I will admit I didn't love the colors, but now after living with it for awhile, they are starting to grow on me.

Yesterday the carpet was installed and it looks great. There is still some touch up painting, but for the most part it is good to go. I put together a little shelving unit and finally got everything Judy has sent us out of the boxes.

Already it is starting to look like a baby's room... And I think I am finally allowing myself to truly get excited.

I talked with Missy and she has all her buying guides left over from registering for Julian. She said she would give them to me so I could use them to start picking what I wanted. Brian said maybe she should go register with me... She's done it before and I am a girl, so he figures we'll do fine on our own. I am fine with that mostly because he has been so busy trying to get the rental done, I know he doesn't really have the time for it right now. Anyway, after we get the crib together I figure I will start picking out things and get registered. Then I guess we will go from there!