Bah!

I have some great pictures from the last weekend, but it is getting late and I am getting tired. I will try and download them before the weekend.

I have been playing pretend with myself that this day wouldn't come but it's here! We have lined up a fantastic nanny for the boys. I know she is going to be great with Jimmy and Julian and it is nice that they will get to spend time together growing up. Maybe they will get to be as good of friends as their parents are! But now it means I have to leave him! I sat this morning giving him his bottle and just started bawling. I have wanted to go back to work... Frankly I have missed it terribly. But now that it is here I don't want to go!

I am glad that we didn't start on Monday but instead I had a couple more days (even though Monday was pretty terrible. He wouldn't sleep AT ALL! No naps makes for cranky Jimmy and Jenn.). Today was great. He went down for his naps like a champ and we ran and got a bunch of stuff for him.

We met up with Angel our nanny (Yes, her name is Angel and she is...) this evening and spent a little over an hour. The kids are already starting to get comfortable with each other. They will need a little bit of time to work things out, but they'll get there. On our way back home I started bawling again... This just sucks!

I think Brian was a little surprised at how upset I was considering I have been excitedly talking about going back to work for awhile. I knew I would be sad but it took me by surprise too. Now as long as I can get him in the house and leave without falling apart tomorrow everything will be fine.

The plan is to take him after his first nap. That will give Angel some time in the house just she and Julian. I will hang out for a little bit than head in to work. There is a lunch meeting and I think it might be a nice way to slide back in. No public. Closed doors. I will stay at work for a couple of hours (I am going to shoot for 4) and then go pick him up. I told Angel I do not want this to be traumatic. I know kids often cry when they have to go to daycare but I don't want him screaming for hours. If we can't make it 4 hours tomorrow we won't. We are going to try to get to a full day on Friday.

Keep your fingers crossed that we have a sane Mom and a happy baby!